Facebook has recently been under fire about their decision to refuse to trot ads with marijuana leaves on it. Recently, Reddit also received lots of flack from their community when word got out that the site was also banning pot legalization ads. You would think the fight to legalize Cannabis would be supported by a site that contains several pro-marijuana sub-categories such as Trees, Marijuana, Cannabis and Prop19.

Sit tight, herb-smokin Redditors. This isn’t the ultimate betrayal.

The decision to ban the ads actually came from the website’s publishing company, Conde Nast. According to Reddit, they didn’t want to ban just the images of a marijuana leaf, but of all marijuana legalization advertising.

The ads were from the Just Say Now campaign, hoping to gain support to legalize Cannabis this November in California. Proposition 19, if approved by voters, will legalize various marijuana-related activities, allow local governments to regulate these activities, permit local governments (but not the state government) to impose and collect marijuana-related fees and taxes, and authorize various criminal and civil penalties. Tax Cannabis 2010 is the official advocacy group for the initiative.

First, a quick run-down of what Proposition 19 will entail. It will anyone over 21 years old or older to possess, cultivate, or transport marijuana for personal use. Local governments will be able to regulate and tax commercial production and sale of marijuana to people 21 years old or older.

BUT WHAT ABOUT THE CHILLIN?!

Don’t worry, Prop 19 will also prohibit people from possessing marijuana on school grounds, using it in public, smoking it while minors are present, or providing it to anyone who can’t legally drink yet. Also, it will maintain current prohibitions against driving while impaired.

Sounds great, right? Apparently, it sounded pretty spiffy to the people over at Reddit because they released this statement:

The reddit admins were just blindsided with news that, apparently, we’re not allowed to take advertising money from sites that support California’s Prop 19 (like this one, for example). There’s a lot of rabble flying around, and we wanted to make some points:

1. This was a decision made at the highest levels of Conde Nast.
2. reddit itself strongly disagrees with it, and frankly thinks it’s ridiculous that we’re turning away advertising money.
3. We’re trying to convince Corporate that they’re making the wrong decision here, and we encourage the community to create a petition, so that your anger is organized in a way that will produce results.
4. We’re trying to get an official response from Corporate that we can post here.

Please bear with us.

Edit: We have a statement from Corporate: “As a corporation, Conde Nast does not want to benefit financially from this particular issue.”

---

Edit 2: Since we’re not allowed to benefit financially, reddit is now running the ads for free. Of course, if you turned AdBlock on, you won’t be able to see them.  Here’s how to properly create an AdBlock exception for reddit.

Since Conde Nast blatantly said it didn’t want any profit from the marijuana ads, Reddit has decided to run Prop 19 Support ads for free! I can’t express how happy I am that Reddit is doing the right thing.

Not only did Reddit take the controversial matter into their own hands, the community made sure to show their support for the beloved forbidden flower.

If you live in California and plan on voting November 2nd, I urge you to vote Yes on Prop 19.

So, if you haven’t heard, there’s a peculiar situation going on in the Land of the Rising Sun. Recently, they’ve discovered a 30-year-old mummified corpse of a man who was supposed to be celebrating his 111th birthday. Japan has a tradition of giving birthday gifts to centenarians and when making rounds to honor one of the oldest people ever, the disturbing discovery of the long deceased man shocked and sparked concern.

A huge (nationwide) search has started for more missing centenarians and what Japan has been finding lately is not pretty.

The remains of a Tokyo woman has been found in her son’s backpack. She was supposed to be 104 by this year but instead has been decaying in a backpack for the last decade.

“Because I didn’t have money for a funeral, I didn’t report her death,” the man told police.

Since then, Japan officials have been checking on the whereabouts of citizens registered to be over 100, amid concern that some relatives have failed to report their deaths in order to draw their pension payouts.

“She died in about June 2001 in our house,” the man reportedly said. “I laid out her body for a while, washed it in the bath, then broke up the bones and put them into a backpack.”

Apparently, Japan has more than 40,000 registered people who are over the age of 100. Obviously, now they’re not too sure since last week, 200 of them have turned up missing. Time will tell~

Kang Eunju literally has more musical talent in her pinkie finger than I do in my whole body. She looks like she’s enjoying the hell out of herself, playing a song from a kid movie called “Boy Commander”. When she’s not busy being a complete bad ass, shredding on her guitar, she attends Shin Hung Kindergarten in Hamhung City.

Everybody secretly yearns to be madly in love.

Love can be difficult for men — Let’s face it, it’s hard to figure out what women want! Knowing this, I decided to construct a list of things that every girl wants but will never admit. Some of these things may seem obvious but it really is easy to start taking your loved one for granted and let your relationship lose it’s spark. Keep these things in mind and it’ll make a big difference in your love life.

After browsing through a couple of sex tricks, dating tips and relationship advice message boards one boring night, I realized that there’s an abundance of stags out there who desperately need help in the Love department. I began thinking about how lucky I am to be in the successful relationship I’ve been in for the past happy six years and started reminiscing about the little things that keep our love alive.

If you’re already involved, these playful love tips can send a sexy charge through your relationship and will keep your woman happy. Has your love life been feeling stale as of late? (…or possibly non-existent?) Pick out and perform ten of these loving gestures a day to make her fall in love you with all over again. Let the random blowies and footskies commence.

Pissed your girl off? Remind her of the knight in shining armor you used to be in the beginning of your relationship. You know, back when you were first trying to get in her pants. Try anything on this list and let the make-up sex start rolling in.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

1. Gently grab or just rub her waist.
2. Actually carry on a deep conversation with her.
3. Share cute and embarrassing secrets. It builds such a deep bond.

4. Let her wear your jerseys or old shirts. Besides, how cute does she look wearing your way-too-big-for-her shirt?
5. Kiss her slowly. Explore her mouth with your tongue… gently.
6. Hug her -at least- once a day.
7. Break out of serious mode with some fun – what’s the craziest position you can think of? Try it out tonight! Whoever is most creative wins a prize of their choice.
8. Laugh with her.
9. Invite her to places you think she’ll enjoy.
10. Make sure to hang out with her friends. Even if you secretly think they’re lame, she’ll still appreciate the efforts.
11. Smile every time you see her. (This should actually just be, instinctual.)
12. Take goofy pictures with her. You don’t have to upload every single one of them to Facebook. Actually, just spare the rest of us and refrain from doing that. ;D
13. Pull her onto your lap and ask her how her day was.
14. When she says she loves you more, deny it. As cheezy as it is, never let her win the “Noooo! I love YOU more” game.
15. When her friends or family threaten or tease you about treating her right. Don’t be afraid to let them know that you truly care about her.

16. If she doesn’t play already, invite her to play video games with you. Find games that she’ll either melt for. When picking out a game, think “cuteness factor” or you can use your back-up plan, Guitar Hero. If she’s already a gamer, focus on playing more co-operative games together.
17. Remind her about a silly inside joke that you share.
18. Kiss her when she’s least expecting it.
19. Hug her from behind, around the waist.
20. Tell her every single time you happen to think she looks beautiful. She’ll appreciate it.
21. If she’s been losing (or purposely putting on) weight, don’t be afraid to tell her that you’ve always thought she was gorgeous but you’ve noticed that she’s been lookin SEXIER.
22. Open doors for her. Being a gentleman will never go out of style.
23. Create fun music playlists together. Download old songs that you grew up with.
24. If you can tell something is wrong, ask her about it. She’ll either dish or refrain from spilling a detail. Either way, assure her that you’ll be there for her to help her overcome it.
25. Plan a Kid’s Night. Eat chicken nuggets, mac n cheese and apple sauce for dinner. Down it with chocolate milk and a hysterical comedy flick or old movie from your childhood.
26. Kiss her in front of other girls. She’ll adore that.
27. We’ll fight you, tooth and nail, forever about it… But, sometimes we secretly do enjoy being tickled.
28. The worst thing you can do is lie to her. Even if it’s the smallest thing, don’t do it.
29. Do favors for her. If she needs a ride somewhere, offer one.
30. In the morning, send her a text message with a goofy pick-up line.
31. Let her know that she can ALWAYS count on you.
32. If it’s cold, let her snuggle against you. Embrace her and rub her arms.
33. Take her out to see a movie she’s been wanting to see. Don’t skimp on the popcorn. ;P
34. Kiss her in other places besides the lips. Her forehead, cheeks, neck, etc. She’ll melt for you like hot butter.
35. Tilt her chin up, gaze into her eyes, brush her hair out her face and kiss her slowly.
36. Even in the grizzliest of arguments, NEVER tell her to leave.

37. Indulge her in some of your wildest sexual fantasies and encourage her to not be afraid to tell you hers. You won’t judge her, you just want to turn her on.
38. If one of your stupid friends (or ANYONE for that matter) burns her, stick up for her. She’ll never let you live it down if you don’t. Plus, don’t be a pussy, that’s your girl!
39. If you truly do, tell her that you love her.
40. Take her to the lake or a park on a starry night, just to cuddle and talk.
41. Hold her hand or wrap an arm around her waist whenever you go out together.
42. Cook together.
43. If you don’t live together, call or text her before you go to bed. Tell her you miss her and can’t wait to see her again or just tell her to have sweet dreams. She’ll know you’re thinking about her.
44. Even if you’d rather do anything else, go shopping with her if her girl friends bail. Tell her when she’s trying on an outfit that you think is sexy.
45. Never let her forget how much you love her.
46. Comfort her when she’s crying. Wipe away her tears, wrap your arms around her, listen when she tells you what’s going on… Don’t leave her alone until she smiles again.
47. Rub and scratch her back.
48. If she’s cool with it and isn’t obsessed with herself, rub your fingertips through her hair and massage her scalp. It feels amazing.
49. Take her shopping for a new sex book. It’s naughty and it’ll benefit the relationship. Make sure she knows it’s all in good fun, not that she needs it or anything.
50. Share ice cream with each other in the bedroom. Make sure there’s plenty of whip cream… Just remember, no spoons allowed.
51. If you live with her, bring your baby breakfast in bed. Nothing says “I love you” like bacon and morning breath… Seriously though, she’ll appreciate it.

52. Give her a mixed CD (or create a playlist) full of songs that make you think of her.
53. Set her ringtone to a song that means something to both of you.
54. Have long conversations. Don’t hesitate to talk about any topic. Sometimes some of the most rambling random conversations tell you the most about each other.
55. Pick up her favorite snack at the store.
56. When it’s raining outside, play in it. Every girl dreams for the “kiss in the rain.”
57. Make yourself available for a naughty night of sexual “slavery” and do whatever she wants you to.
58. Talk about your most cherished childhood memories.
59. Start a new holiday tradition that you vow to keep, year after year.
60. Don’t ignore her.
61. Has she done anything incredible recently? Tell her how proud you are of her.
62. If you live with her but have to be away for a night, leave her favorite chocolate on your pillow.
63. Send her an email with your dirtiest thoughts about her.
64. Invite her to meet your co-workers and introduce her with glowing praise.
65. Engage in a quickie in the middle of the day.
66. Leave a hilarious voicemail.
67. Order out. Cuddle, pig out and watch a new movie together.
68. Keep a picture of her in your car or your wallet.
69. Buy a pair of naughty dice and let the games begin!
70. Introduce her to your family, despite how crazy they might come off sometimes.
71. When watching television, make the commercial breaks “Sexy Play Time.”
72. Ask her to go with you to something that makes your nervous or plain out terrifies you… Like the dentist’s office.
73. Turn up some of your favorite jams and dance your heart out, together. Even if you can’t dance or feel like a dumb ass, that’s the whole point! Be comfortable and have fun with her.
74. Play footsie under the table at an important or family dinner.
75. Make plans for the future with her.

So, listening to this song that integrates all 151 of the first generation of Pokemon into sexual innuendos, pretty much made my day. It was brilliantly created by a guy by the name of White Licorice (or I guess you could call him Brandon Daley) with Brock Chart (Sad Panda) doing the music. Just when you think “How is he possibly going to tie-in this particular Pokemon?” you’ll hear a clever (or at the very least, decent) use of it. Check out the lyrics, they’re fucking great.

So I got this girl in the sex nid-arena(1)

Getting ready to put my Poke-flue in between her.

First I take it slow bro(2), you know, play it Tentacool(3)

When I Poliwag(4) my Weedle(5) oh how it makes her drool

I’m hard as a rock, and this girl seems hooked on onix(6)

Cause she puts her Meowth(7) on my Pidgey(8) and takes it like a bong hit

Then she’s starting to Machoke(9), which isn’t very cool

I don’t want to risk the Chance, see(10), of being Tentacruel(11)

With the greatest swiftness, I slide off her Kabutop(12)

And make her great paras(13) come unleashed and drop

She’s seaking(14) to be drill(149)-ed, while I’m hoping she’s infertile

Playing with those jigglypuffs(15), trying veno-not(16) to Squirtle(17)

I Exegcute(18) that foreplay, and now I’m ready to Cubone(19)

Trying to finish quickly before her Mr. Mime(20) gets home

But she stops before I can start the Manky(21) Panky

And Says “Since I had to Staryu(22), you have to Starmie(23)”

So since she did me, I guess I have to Ditto(24)

I get down on my knees and pone-eat a(25) Pidgetto(26)

Give her a Slowpoke(27) before I dive into that girl

And attack her cloyster(28) with a full polywhirl(29)

I Lickitung(30) her Lapras(31), tasting on that Magicarp(32)-et

Hoping she’s not Krabby(33), that’d be gastly(34) and would make my heart sick

Yes that Persian(35) rug was clef-hairy(36), but I didn’t really mind

Since I could ring the Victory bell(37), I was getting some behind

Down there for so long, I came up Koffing(38) and Wheezing(39)

I got her seel(40) of approval though, cause she’s Growlith(41)-ing and breathing

Wanting to gravel her(42), feeling so sand-shrewd(43)

Give her an electabuzz(44) with my spear-oh(45) too

I’d tell you her name, but don’t think she’s a whore, see(46)?

Not to many get her rapidash(47), tonight she’s just rhyhorn(48)-y,

So I start Rhydon(49) like the Machamp(50), feel like I could roar

Going so hard that I probably made her ivy sore(51)

She wanted my Arbok(52) so I gave her gear a dose(53)

Going so hard that her Mew(54) almost tauros(55)

Inside that butterfree(56), feeling like a charmelon(57) bucks

Constantly Jolteon(58) her from the power of my Psyduck(59)

Now I must have gone and jinx(60)-ed it, somewhere in the equation

Cause she started getting drowzee(61) during the copulation

I didn’t even notice, I kept going at her Golbat(62)

But then something seemed Oddish(63) when I she started to snorelax(64)

I tried to wake her up, zu-but(65) she was pory-gone(66)

And she’d have to be awake before I’d get my flare on.(67)

Of course I felt gloom(68), I thought I had been charming’ her(69)

And now I can’t Grime(70) her voltorb(71) or I’ll be harming her

My Dewgong(72) can’t Muk(73), and if he does it’d be rude

But this is still better then the time I brought home a Geodude(74)

With my pants down and my bell sprouted(75), I feel I got to doduo(76)

So I Maro-walk(77)ed into the bathroom, and when I leave, what do I view?

That my girl’s awake again-gar(78), which seems kind of farfetch(79)-ed

And provoked some Poliwrath(80) at the thought that she fake-slept

I asked her what was wrong, does she not like it when I pinsir(81)?

And she responded with, “Calm down a second, Spencer.

If you think your sex is good, your wrong, if you think your hip, no(147),

The only thing you’re good at is Nintendo.”

I love this girl a magneton(82), and hearing that was wiggly tough(83).

The eevee(84)-ning had started well, but now was turning rough

Told her “Wait a parasect(85), please stay the omanyte(86),

You’re my goldeen(87) girl, and if you leave I magne-might(88)

E-raticate(89) my life, cause you are my pharaoh(150)!

It’s to early in the night to give me the kabuto(90)!”

And she says, “Way back when, when I first took a peek at you(148).

I thought you were kind of cute and that you’d want my mew too(91).

I felt electrode(92)-s in the air when I saw you and you saw me

But that was before I knew your Diglett(93) was so Dragtini(94)!”

I didn’t know the size of my Dodrio(95) mattered, and my god,

Here I thought we were like two Caterpie(96)-s in a Metapod(97)

I hope the memories of me haunt her(98), I hope she never leaves her shellder(99)

“I hope you see dra(100) light soon,” I go and I tell her.

“I know you think your hot shit, but I’m actually exegg-cuter(101).

I’m the omastar(102), the Kingler(103), I can find another suitor.

I’m sorry about the time I gave you Wartortle(104)-s and blisters

Or when I suggested a dugtrio(105) with your sister.

But if you still want go, I won’t beg like our canine(106).

Golduck(107) with your life, I’m having a Blastoise(108) with mine.”

And that night, Misty left me, I felt so vileplume(109)

I r-eckons(151) that dragon night(110) was the beginning of the doom

But I guess men are from Magmar(111)-s women from Venusaur(112)

And every thing tangela(113)-ble, there’s a reason for

I learned this the next week, when bad news filled the dragonair(114)

My heart got machop(115)-ped in half like a scyther(116) giving it a tear

A phone call from her mother told me a kakuna(117) in her head

Had attached to her vulpix(118), and now Misty was dead.

I thought it was a cle-fable(119) that those things were hitmon-le(120)-thal

I had heard eight or ninetales(121) about gol-them(122) from different people

But I still couldn’t believe it, I started weepin, bel(123)-ting out tears

Cuts and slash(124)-es vaporeon(125)-izing all of our years

It was like Raich-u(126)-no, Zap-dos(127), Mol-tres(128), and she’s gone

And I can’t abra(129) kadabra(130) with some magic wand

No alakazam(131) and she reappears, I feel like a primeape(132)

They could have caught the growth but the Kangascan(133)-s came back to late

I pidgey-ought(134) to have known better, but the news was quite charz-hard(135)

My heart felt bulba-sore(136), was permanently scarred

She was my Nidoqueen(137), I should not have nido-ran(138f)

I wanted to be her Nidoking(139), but I felt more like a hitman-chan(140)

If I hadn’t nidoran(141m), would she still be with us?

Or is my poke-love just to damn venomoth(142)?

Insides numb like the artic, you know(143) that feeling

A gun ratatta(144)-ed my heart and I’m just waiting for the healing

But I don’t regret getting hit with cupid’s arrow-dact-all(145)

Relationships are like pokemon, you gotta catch em’ all.

Nidarino(146).

Neil Patrick Harris has been confirmed to voice the “Amazing” Spider-Man in the upcoming title, Spider-Man: Shattered Dimensions. The Dr. Horrible actor is no stranger to the Spider-Man world, having previously voiced the web-slinger in Spider-Man: The New Animated Series.

According to Destructoid, other voice actors have been confirmed as well. The “Ultimate” Spider-Man will be voiced by Josh Keaton; “Noir” will be voiced by Christopher Daniel Barnes; and “2099″ will be voiced by Dan Gilvezan.

Another revelation that will certainly excite Marvel fans is the fact that Stan Lee, himself, will narrate the title. This is definitely turning out to be a top notch Spidey game.

Don’t forget to pre-order this gem in all it’s comic book glory on Amazon to receive the exclusive Iron Spider costume, an art book featuring concept art, character renders, environments and more.

[Originally posted by me for Examiner]

The rumor about a Halo Reach bundle that was floating around the web yesterday has officially been confirmed. Microsoft announced the bundle that will include a limited edition silver 250GB HDD Xbox 360 S 250 GB console covered in Halo Reach-themed graphics, two wireless controllers sporting a fresh paint of matching silver paint and a copy of Halo: Reach. This will all be available for you on September 14 for $399.

This bundle will also include a token for the limited edition Elite armor, an episode of Halo Legends and a Halo: Reach themed wired headset. Also, it’s said to feature custom sound effects from the Halo universe so I’m curious to see how that works.

[Originally posted by me for Examiner]

With the highly-anticipated release of Halo: Reach coming up around the corner, Halo fans are itching for information on the beloved series. Fortunately, there’s a rumor on the verge of running rampant that Microsoft will be revealing a limited edition Halo: Reach Xbox 360 S bundle.

This supposed bundle is said to include a silver Xbox 360 S 250 GB console covered in Halo Reach-themed graphics, two wireless controllers sporting a fresh paint of matching silver paint and a copy of Halo: Reach for $399.99.

The image of the Reach controller was seen originally on Xbox.com, but conveniently disappeared. Of course, they couldn’t remove it before crafty Internet browsers at HaloReachTips grabbed a picture of it. Also, there’s a screen shot circulating that shows a sexy-looking silver Xbox 360.

An insider source told Ars Technica to expect an official announcement later today. Halo: Reach hits stores on September 14th.

[Originally posted by me for Examiner.com]

Waiting for a new post? Truth is that I’ve been feeling rather uninspired to write lately.

These days, all I’ve been wanting to do is play games (instead of just writing about them), get extremely high, hang out with my friends (who I haven’t seen in MONTHS!), chill with my favorite person in the world and get my life back on track. So far so good, I suppose. As you’ve gathered from my previous post, I’m currently working as a waitress. It’s not the most glamorous job but I must admit, I love it. The customers are sweet, my co-workers are great and I’m making decent money in tips. (And hey, at least I’m not working at Game Stop, right? …Wait, I would love that, actually… *frown*) I can safely say that I’m over the ridiculously bad financial crisis that I unfortunately endured for the past year.

The dark period of poverty that not only killed my outgoing social life (due to no cell phone or Internet access), starved me, forced me to room with the worst room mates in the world and almost caused me to lose my apartment, is finally behind me.

I mean, come on I recently bought a PS3! It’s the classic tale of the tortoise and the hare. Instead of paying $600 for a PS3 console when it first launched, I waited about 5 years and only paid $150 (That includes one game and an extra controller…) Although, I’m not going to lie, I did trade in a crap load of games, cables, controllers, etc. Either way, I still saved quite a bit.

My lack of bloggin’ and news reportin’ doesn’t mean I’ve completely lost interest in writing. Actually, instead of just posting news articles and blog posts, I plan on brushing up my editorial skills and I’ve been putting serious thought into reviewing past games that I’ve played. I’ve been thinking about reviewing new video games and what better way to prepare than to practice my reviewing skills on past titles? Recently, I’ve been studying writing, grammar, journalism, etc because I truly want to improve in every way. I will indeed still be writing but I might not post EVERYTHING on my site, until I’m fully confident in my writing abilities.

You can’t blame me for wanting to live my life again, can you? I realize I don’t have much new content on my site, so far, but trust me… I really do want to turn this into a full-time thing. I will post news sporadically but for the next few days, you won’t hear that much from me. I’ll be busy getting utterly enveloped in all of the bad ass video games I couldn’t afford last year, getting blitzed out of my mind on Texas’s finest and spending all of my other free time with my beloved boyfriend and best friends.

By the way, I heard people who read blogs and don’t comment suck donkey testies.
;D

There’s sweet cash to be made working as a waitress but the job is certainly not for everybody. You need a calm mindset, bubbly personality, extreme patience and a relatively strong wrist. Waiting is one of those jobs that you either enjoy or you absolutely despise; There’s really no in-between. I’ve only been a waitress for a month but when I decided I wanted to rank up from being a hostess (who don’t normally get tipped for things), I scoured the Internet for any tips or advice to make bank.

Tip money is the name of the game as a waiter or waitress, because you won’t be making it on the payroll with measly $2 an hour checks. You’ve got to work your ass off (with a smile!) to pay off the bills.

I decided to compile a list of the most effective ways to increase the tips you can pull in from working at a restaurant. Whether you work the morning shift at a breakfast joint, afternoons at a truck stop cafe or evenings at a fancy 5-star restaurant, these tips will increase the cash you make, serving.

1. Listen to their stories. Unless you’re genuinely a people person, you really have to act like you’re truly interested in whatever (possibly lame) stories they want to dish to you. Some customers want to talk about everything under the sun, from their children to what their shopping plans are for the day. Sometimes it’s agonizing when you’ve got a rush going, customers without drinks, your orders up and you’re forced to stand there, smiling and nodding. Have something witty to say  and as long as you can fake it, you’ll rack in that paper. If a customer is dragging on, the next time they pause to let you talk, politely say “Oh! I’m sorry but I better gotta run,” or something along those lines.

2. Be respectful when serving couples. Make sure you always address the woman with a smile before you address the man. Sadly, there are a lot of insecure, jealous women out there. If you smile too much or act flirtatious around their baby daddies and hubbies, you’ll infuriate his wife or girlfriend and you can kiss your tip goodbye. And can you blame them? Who wants their man openly flirting with the cute waffle house waitress?

3. Pre-bus your tables. Clear their dirty dishes promptly. Customers don’t enjoy seeing their dirty dishes and they’ll want them removed from the table as soon as they’ve licked their plates clean. You’ll increase your tips if your table believes they’re your primary concern even though you have freakin’ eight other tables –sometimes irritatingly– requiring your attention.

4. Start a friendly conversation if the cooks decide to take their sweet ass time making the food. Customers are only in your restaurant because they’re hungry. If they don’t get their food to them in time, tempers will certainly flare. Although, you can’t kick the cook’s asses and tell them to hurry up in the kitchen, you can divert your customers’ attention by engaging in a friendly conversation. Apologize for the wait and look for anything you can use to chat about… Even if all you can think about is your next move in the never-ending Waitstaff vs. Cook war, that’s secretly waging on. Throw in a lighthearted phrase at the end like, “Let’ me go bug the cooks about your food, again,” with a quick chuckle. For the record, you’re not going to want to piss off the cooks. Working as a team really is best, but damn if there isn’t always at least one asshole cook who tries to get under your skin all the time.

5. Flirt, when it’s appropriate. For the love of all that is holy, only when it’s appropriate. If you have a customer who you noticed is constantly winking at you or slipping in compliments, there’s a chance you can earn a bigger tip if you return the innocent flirtations. You just have to absolutely understand when it’s appropriate to flirt and when it’s not. For instance, if there’s an older couple nearby, another woman at the table or if the customer is just buzzed or drunk, answer the flirtatious comments with a smile and nothing more. If it gets skeezy, grossly inappropriate or rude, tell your manager or have a male co-worker take the table for you.

6. Watch your customers like a hawk. Keep an attentive eye on your tables. Check in with your customers often to ask if they’re enjoying their meal and to determine if anybody needs anything. People will get pissy if they have to rock the ice in their empty glasses to get a refill or have to ask for more napkins or ketchup. Make sure to beat them to the punch and bring what they need before they ask.

7. Act like you couldn’t be happier to take their order. Of course, we all know that’s definitely NOT what we wake up for, every day… Your pleasant demeanor is your main weapon. If you can make your customers believe that you’re happy to help them, they’ll surely appreciate your hard work and show their gratitude by leaving a more generous tip. You may sometimes yearn to escape into the sound-proof freezer and scream because your feet are aching, your last table stiffed you or you possibly know that you’re out of bud... You should never show your pain or intense annoyance to your customers.

8. Maintain a first-class personal hygiene and only wear spotless, wrinkle-free clothes. Honestly, this one should be common sense. Nobody wants a bum to serve them their meal. When people eat out, they take comfort knowing that there’s rules and regulations in restaurants to assure their grub is cooked to perfection and handled properly. I know that if I saw dirt under the nails of someone who was serving me my soup, I’d surely wouldn’t be willing to devour it. Customers want to smell the delicious food they’re paying up the wazoo for, not your smelly work shirt.

9. Despite your horrible day, maintain a positive and upbeat attitude. As much as we wish it, not everyone that sits in your section is going to be the friendliest. There’s going to be people who are in crappy moods, possibly racist against you, hate your gender, or just think servers are beneath them… Some customers can get just plain ugly with you but my biggest piece of advice is to kill them with kindness. The first day I was training to be a server, I unfortunately had to deal with an asshole who took every opportunity to bitch about something or cut me down as a server. That sort of stuff shouldn’t get you down though because you just have to realize that there’s just unhappy miserable people on this planet. Instead, a fellow waitress and I jokingly decided to write “God bless you! He is always watching!” and drew a smiley face on the back of his receipt. The douche bag actually stopped what he was doing and looked down to read it. After a few minutes, he stood up and walked over to where I was rolling silverware into napkins and gave me five bucks. It was hilarious.

10. Personally write a friendly line on the back of their ticket. As terrible as this sounds, I like to milk my customers for all their worth. With that being said, I often write a nice message on the back of their tickets. Drop it off, face down, and say, “Now, absolutely no rush at all of course, but for your convenience I’m dropping off your ticket.” Become more personable and draw a smiley face by your name on their ticket so they’ll hopefully you request you the next time they come in. Yeah, it’s a little cheesy but there’s nothing to lose and a small chance of a gain so why not? I can’t tell you how many times customers have radiated with joy by the sight of a puny smiling face.

11. When dropping off their food, ask them how everything looks. If they don’t like the way their meal appears or they immediately see something wrong, they might not say anything for fear of angering the cook or appearing too needy. If this is the case, without question, it’ll hurt your tip. Asking them is the easiest way to fix that issue right away. They’ll be happy to know you’re concerned about their chow preparations actually made to their liking. Before you walk away, check to see if they need refills and ask them if they need any more condiments or napkins.

12. Don’t go to their table too often. Lots of face time is good but you gotta remember; The customers are there to enjoy a meal out with their families and friends. Don’t make their visit to the restaurant all about you.

13. Know the menu front-to-back and read their orders back to them. People will appreciate the fact that you can answer any question they have about the slop they’re planning to inhale. Remember all the salad dressings, drinks, how many chicken strips come in a basket, etc.

14. Treat their children like they are the cutest things you’ve ever seen. Personally, I hate kids but I try my damnedest to act like I love every single screaming toddler that comes in. Ask the moms and dads if their ADORABLE BABIES need a booster seat or high chair. Compliment their daughter’s cute tiny shoes or their son’s beautiful eye color. Parents, especially the new ones, absolutely love that; It’s their offspring of course!

15. Never talk about bad weather. They don’t want to hear about how horrible the forecast looks; It will just put them in a slightly bad mood. Despite the consistent onslaught of storms, tell them you heard or you’re hoping there could be some Sun next Friday.

16. Pick some items on the menu to serve as your “Go to” meals. There’s going to be customers who have never been to your restaurant before and want to know your recommendation. Tell them your favorite menu items or offer the cook’s specialty.

17. If you have a big table of 8 or more. Use the “clock” method. Stand in front of the table and mark the seat across from you (mentally) as number 12, then the next one to number 12′s left as number 1 and so on and so forth. This will seriously make things a lot easier for you.

18. Act like you’re an Eager Beaver. When your customers request something, give them a “Of course! Anything is possible!” look. Not only do they adore that, but they love to hear the phrase, “No problem!” and an enthusiastic “Will do!”

19. Big Rule: Never count your tips in front of guests. That’s such a huge no no. Not only do you look money hungry doing it but the customers will see you with a wadful of dollar bills and won’t feel so inclined to tip you well. Plus, there’s an old superstitious waitress saying that it’s bad luck to count your tips in the middle of your shift.

20. Upsell. Upsell. Upsell. The bigger the check the bigger the tip. Offer appetizers, salads, dessert etc. Also, be specific by saying things like “Would you like to try our Crispy Banana Caramel Cheese Cake before you go?” or “Would you like an order of our famous onion rings to start off with tonight?” but definitely not “Do you want an appetizer?”

21. Big crowd? Ask if they need their check split. This will save a lot of hassle for the cashier because it’ll prevent them from having eight people crowded around their cash register, spouting off what they scarfed down, while the other two people try to sneak out.

22. Treat the back-of-house staff and support staff (cooks, bussers, hosts, etc.) with the utmost respect. Their jobs are difficult too. If your places requires that you tip these positions out, do so generously. The nicer you are to them, the nicer they’ll be to you. If they feel like you respect them, they’ll definitely come through and help you out when you most need them.

23. Get on their level. This doesn’t fly in a really fancy restaurant but in a relaxed, family joint, the customers sometimes appreciate it. Crouch down and look the guest in the eye; Look up at them if you can. It makes them feel like you’re associating with them on an equal level.

24. Don’t let them see you doing nothing. You should always be busy doing something, even if all of your tables are full and they all have their refreshments. You should be rolling silverware for the next batch of customers, getting refills, helping other servers run their food, cleaning around your area or in the galley. Keeping yourself busy makes time pass by fast, too.

25. Most importantly, just understand that not everybody tips. Don’t get too fired up if you have a couple of tables that don’t tip well. We all know those people are out there. But there are MANY decent, nice, generous people out there as well that will make up for it. Despite how tired or annoyed you might feel, you’ve just got to keep that upbeat attitude.