About
[Warning: If you hold your breath and read this whole thing, you will die.]
I’m one of the most laid back broads that you’ll ever meet. Born with a sarcastic mindset, silver tongue, immature sense of humor, fanatical love for raunchy comedy films and a weakness for impassioned babble sessions about any fucking video game (8-bit to 1080p) to date… Beyond any doubt, I’ve realized that I’m a bit more of (as my boyfriend says) a “guy’s girl,” as opposed to an effeminate, good-natured missus.
Although, don’t sweat it, skirts! I also happen to flip over MAKE-UP STICKERS PONIES AND MYSPACE DOT COM… (Family Guy joke) SooOOoo, there’s a chance that you might have a hankering to spark up a bovine blunt, blast some Black Sabbath & relish in lighthearted zombie blood-spraying in Left 4 Dead 2 with me. And hey~ If you let me, I’ll gladly put a couple of spiffy dreadlocks in your hair.
I’m just a jovial peach who is enamored of anything drenched in scorching cheddar cheese, screaming encouraging obscenities at UFC fighters through my TV screen and casually lapping up booze with friends, higgledy-piggledy. Whatever rumors you may have heard about me are probably not as interesting as the actual facts. I’ve been told that I’m slightly more perverted than a middle school virgin who accidentally brushed up against his first side-boob. Also, at times I tend to have a trucker’s mouth so filthy that it makes porn stars blush and fungus is beginning to sprout from underneath my tongue. Fuck being politically correct, right? I may be unorganized, immature & irresponsible but I’m the funnest girl you’ll have the chance to get teamed up with in Call of Duty, Halo 3, Kill Zone or any other online multiplayer I decide to conquer. (“Conquer” may be somewhat of an overstatement.. But only somewhat ;D)
LIFE UPDATE: As of August 2010, I’m now officially an ordained minister. So if you want a fucked up wedding, lulzy funeral or any other “sacerdotal” excuse for a party… I’m the girl to talk to. All I ask is that you pay me in cupcakes, pot or free vidya gaemz and address me as “Reverend” the whole time. Fun will be had~
You might spot me at any ol’ keg party with tangled hair, Hello Kitty pajama bottoms and a battle-worn Slayer shirt. The chick who, at a glance, is most likely toasting a chocolate-flavored joint and occasionally flapping her tongue, detailing the epic pwnage in her freshest Xbox Live match. The one growling about government conspiracies, exploring the concept of eccentric theories, nerdgasming over the undeniable truth about extra terrestrials or geeking out about paranormal phenomena. The girl who’s always striving to learn something new every day, loves meeting new people and genuinely enjoys listening to your stories.
The decidedly lunatic dame whose wildly giggling to herself, probably thinking about something that happened at last year’s LAN party. The one who’s suffering from (not one, count em) two black eyes and oodles of bruises from attempting to glow-stick at last week’s rave. Not to mention, that chick that you could be stuck on hanging out with (at least, when you’re bored) because she’s always got a pipe in her bag and a mildly entertaining story to share.
That pathetic excuse for the girl next door, is me. If I’m not your cup of tea, you can not imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.
~~Obligatory Third Person Bio~~
Being an avid gamer, Riot Monster has an animated eagerness for spilling pixelated blood and an appetite for slaughtering moving polygons. She’s a hardcore gamer who would love to virtually shoot you in the face but also has a soft side; Riot owns a kick ass abode in Animal Crossing and takes pleasure in virtually feeding her vivacious Nintendog. 
Ranked with a lion’s share of gamers, she’s been gaming from the time she was a spunky, excitable, pigtails-totin’ rug rat. The blue moon that she first wrapped her miniature fingers around the somewhat uncomfortable Atari joystick, captivated by the outstanding 128-color palette, she knew she was forever smitten.
The nubile monster-to-be constantly challenged herself on games like Asteroids, Centipede, Chopper Command, Frogger, Pac-Man, Parachute & Space Invaders. Numerous hours later, only one thought, –one roaring deduction— filled her blossoming mind…
“Video games are the cat’s fuckin’ pajamas!”
Raised in a world of food stamps and off-brand cereal, little Riot quickly learned to appreciate the finer things in life. That now included exceptional video games. Her current favorite game genres straggle from Platformers, Rhythm & Music games, Shooters, Role-playing games, Massive Multiplayer and above all, Action Adventure. She enjoys long walks by the glow of imulsion in the Locust Stronghold, luxuriates in trading ghost Pokemon under a starry sky and gets a charge out of romantic fragging in Valhalla.
RiotMonster.com is a weblog (blog) that specializes in the latest in video game news, cannabis legalization, unusual headlines and entertainment. A stoned gamer’s humble lifestreaming website that includes a sprinkle of celebrity bashing, bizarre fetishes, cringeworthy love-gone-wrong situations, some of the latest gadgets, Japanese weirdness, Internet-related hilarity, medical oddities, strange people, compelling conspiracies, upcoming movie buzz, hysterical videos & anything else she finds interesting or even slightly amusing.
Portal | Bayonetta | Rocket Knight Adventures | Banjo-Kazooie | Banjo-Tooie | Halo 3 | Borderlands | Star Fox Adventures | Donkey Kong 64 | Castlevania 64 | Diddy Kong Racing | Earthworm Jim | Super Mario 64 | Legend of Zelda series | Gears of War series | Resident Evil series | Silent Hill series | Fatal Frame series | Paper Mario series | Darksiders | Borderlands | Left 4 Dead series | Ace Attorney series | God of War series | Mario Kart series | Guitar Hero & Rock Band series | Killzone series | Serious Sam series | Dead Space | Bioshock | No More Heroes | Super Mario Galaxy 1 & 2 | Super Smash Bros Brawl | Castle Crashers | Fable II | Kingdom Hearts series | Sonic the Hedgehog (2D) | Body Harvest 64 | Conker’s Bad Fur Day | Tetris | Extreme Space Invaders | Pokemon games (Pokemon: Red & Blue through Pokemon: Diamond & Pearl) | Pokemon RPGs (Pokemon Ranger, Pokemon Mystery Dungeon, etc) | Kirby Super Star Ultra | Jak & Daxter series | Ratchet & Clank series | Bug | Clockwork Knight
Youth in Revolt | A Very Sunny Christmas | Fight Club | Zack and Miri Make a Porno | Zombie Land | Adventure Land | Death at a Funeral | Alice in Wonderland | Clerks | Clerks 2 | Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back | The 40 Year Old Virgin | Knocked Up | Pineapple Express | Observe and Report | Step Brothers | Waiting | Beer Fest | The Hangover | Harold & Kumar go to White Castle | Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back | American Beauty | The Labyrinth | Edward Scissorhands | Donnie Darko | Rocky Horror Picture Show | Bully | The Dark Knight | Party Monster | From Dusk Til Dawn | Planet Terror | Death Proof | Kill Bill Vol 1 | Kill Bill Vol 2 | Pet Sematary | The Hills Have Eyes | Texas Chainsaw Massacre | Half Baked | Little Miss Sunshine | American History X | Across The Universe | Super Troopers | Old School | Balls of Fury | Boondock Saints | Extract | Office Space | Harold & Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia | That 70′s Show | Family Guy | King of Queens | Operation Repo | The Office | Nip/Tuck | Tosh.O | Wonder Showzen | Aqua Teen Hunger Force | Ugly Americans | The Boondocks | Drawn Together | Futurama | The Simpsons | South Park | Reno 911 | Metalocalypse | Jackass | Wildboyz | Super Jail | Robot Chicken | Powerpuff Girls | Johnny Bravo | Two Stupid Dogs | Dexter’s Lab | Courage the Cowardly Dog | Ren & Stimpy | AAAHHHH!! Real Monsters | Rocko’s Modern Life | Are you afraid of the Dark? | Beavis & Butthead | The Oblongs | Daria | The Maxx | The Angry Beavers | Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles | Pinky & The Brain | Dragon Ball Z | Hey Arnold | Invader Zim | Wife Swap | The Soup | Web Soup
In an effort to not sound like a complete egomaniac, I’d like to point out that these cute monsters are not really my “fans.” They’re my real life & online friends who kick major ass. =] --Love you guys to death!!-- Thanks for the gifts, commissions and signs. Most importantly, thanks for the love guysss~ It all goes right back at ya.
Kisses, Candy, Kush & Cum Shots~
Riot Monster
