About

I’m a script-spewing, people-despising call center worker by day, and a stoned, gaming-obsessed blogger by early evening to night. What you will find here is a blog chock full of rantings and ramblings about a broad range of things that strike my interest. This could range from my own personal trials and tribulations, a sprinkle of celebrity bashing, and bizarre fetish discussions to cringeworthy self-love situations, the often-hilarious Japanese weirdness. You can expect to find some of my views about ridiculous politics, regurgitated Internet memes, rare medical oddities, strange people, compelling conspiracies, awesome Scientific breakthroughs, upcoming movie buzz, interesting videos and run-on sentences. Obviously, I’m just going to write about whatever the fuck appeals to me that particular day.

My goal is to one day create something awesome or spout out something that is in some way insightful, to share with the people of this crazy world. Of course, if I fail at that, at least I have this tiny slice of the constantly growing cyber world to share my ideas with and vent to. That’s fun enough for me.

If you just enjoy random shit puked at you daily, follow my Tumblr. Interested in knowing what I’m up to day-to-day, feel free to follow me on Twitter instead.

[Warning: If you hold your breath and read this whole thing, you will die.]

I’m one of the most laid back broads that you’ll ever meet. Born with a sarcastic mindset, silver tongue, immature sense of humor, fanatical love for raunchy comedy films and a weakness for impassioned babble sessions about any fucking video game (8-bit to 1080p) to date… Beyond any doubt, I’ve realized that I’m a bit more of (as my boyfriend says) a “guy’s girl,” as opposed to an effeminate, good-natured missus.

Although, don’t sweat it, skirts! I also happen to flip over MAKE-UP STICKERS PONIES AND MYSPACE DOT COM… (Family Guy joke) SooOOoo, there’s a chance that you might have a hankering to spark up a bovine blunt, blast some Black Sabbath &  relish in lighthearted zombie blood-spraying in Left 4 Dead 2 with me. And hey~ If you let me, I’ll gladly put a couple of spiffy dreadlocks in your hair.

I’m just a jovial peach who is enamored of anything drenched in scorching cheddar cheese, screaming encouraging obscenities at UFC fighters through my TV screen and casually lapping up booze with friends, higgledy-piggledy. Whatever rumors you may have heard about me are probably not as interesting as the actual facts. I’ve been told that I’m slightly more perverted than a middle school virgin who accidentally brushed up against his first side-boob. Also, at times I tend to have a trucker’s mouth so filthy that it makes porn stars blush and fungus is beginning to sprout from underneath my tongue. Fuck being politically correct, right? I may be unorganized, immature & irresponsible but I’m the funnest girl you’ll have the chance to get teamed up with in Call of Duty, Halo 3, Kill Zone or any other online multiplayer I decide to conquer. (“Conquer” may be somewhat of an overstatement.. But only somewhat ;D)

LIFE UPDATE: As of August 2010, I’m now officially an ordained minister. So if you want a fucked up wedding, lulzy funeral or any other “sacerdotal” excuse for a party… I’m the girl to talk to. All I ask is that you pay me in cupcakes, pot or free vidya gaemz and address me as “Reverend” the whole time. Fun will be had~

You might spot me at any ol’ keg party with tangled hair, Hello Kitty pajama bottoms and a battle-worn Slayer shirt. The chick who can be seen, at a glance, toasting a chocolate-flavored blunt and wildly flapping her tongue, detailing the epic pwnage in her freshest Xbox Live match. The one growling about government conspiracies, exploring the concept of eccentric theories, nerdgasming over the undeniable truth about extra terrestrials or geeking out, dancing to dubstep. The girl who’s always striving to learn something new every day, loves meeting new people and genuinely enjoys listening to your stories.

The decidedly lunatic dame whose wildly giggling to herself, probably thinking about something that happened at last year’s LAN party. The one who’s suffering from (not one, count em) two black eyes and oodles of bruises from attempting to glow-stick at last week’s rave. Not to mention, that chick that you could be stuck on hanging out with (at least, when you’re bored) because she’s always got a pipe in her bag and a mildly entertaining story to share.

That pathetic excuse for the girl next door, is me.
If I’m not your cup of tea, you can not imagine the immensity of the fuck I do not give.

 

~~Obligatory Third Person Bio~~

Being an avid gamer, Riot Monster has an animated eagerness for spilling pixelated blood and an appetite for slaughtering moving polygons. She’s a hardcore gamer who would love to virtually shoot you in the face but also has a soft side; Riot owns a kick ass abode in Animal Crossing and takes pleasure in virtually feeding her vivacious Nintendog.

Ranked with a lion’s share of gamers, she’s been gaming from the time she was a spunky, excitable, pigtails-totin’ rug rat. The blue moon that she first wrapped her miniature fingers around the somewhat uncomfortable Atari joystick, captivated by the outstanding 128-color palette, she knew she was forever smitten.

The nubile monster-to-be constantly challenged herself on games like Asteroids, Centipede, Chopper Command, Frogger, Pac-Man, Parachute & Space Invaders. Numerous hours later, only one thought, –one roaring deduction— filled her blossoming mind…

“Video games are the fuckin’ cat’s pajamas!”

Raised in a world of food stamps and off-brand cereal, little Riot quickly learned to appreciate the finer things in life. That now included exceptional video games. Her current favorite game genres straggle from Platformers, Rhythm & Music games, Shooters, Role-playing games, Massive Multiplayer and above all, Action Adventure. She enjoys long walks by the glow of imulsion in the Locust Stronghold, luxuriates in trading ghost Pokemon under a starry sky and gets a charge out of romantic fragging in Valhalla.

In an effort to not sound like a complete egomaniac, I’d like to point out that these cute fuckers are not really my “fans.” They’re my real life & online friends who kick major ass. =] --Love you guys to pieces!!-- Thanks for the gifts, commissions and signs. Most importantly, thanks for the love guysss~ It all goes right back at ya.

Kisses, Candy, Kush & Cum Shots~
Riot Monster