Life of bread loaves & dirty clothes

I’m still living like I did in 2009 but I refuse to do it anymore. I won’t let my new year suck as much as my last one. Here’s a run-down of some of the things that I deal with on my mediocre work weeks.

One hundred dollars - The weekly budget my unemployed boyfriend and I have been forced to survive on since I got my (argh, only) part-time job last October. My current job sucks and the work schedule they’ve given me is killing me. I work two graveyard shifts and two early morning shifts so that’s been wreaking havoc on my internal clock. On the bright side, my manager finally told me I may start getting the hours I was promised when I first got this job. I’ve still been applying in several places but nothing has been remotely promising, yet. I’m not above working in a fast food joint.

One dirty shirt - What I use to wrap and dry my hair after every shower. Why? Well, a couple of months ago we had a problem with our toilet for a couple of days that management decided to put off over and over again. Eventually, we had to use our own towels to soak the nasty toilet back-up that was flooding our bathroom. The toilet was fixed but every one of our towels were ruined and we wouldn’t feel right using them anymore so we threw them out. Still haven’t had the funds to buy more.

My bong, “Big Bird” - My first and (so far) only bong. The only material item that has been keeping me from a spiraling depression and holding my extreme (pre and post period) PMS at bay. I fell in love with the 18″ tall, yellow beauty when I first laid eyes on her and bought her from our local Adult Warehouse that day. Luckily at the time I had more cash flow since I worked a two-week holiday job back in December. This bong is the only treat I gave myself and I still don’t regret it. Named “Big Bird” after the nickname that Sweet Dee has in It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Not to mention, it’s a huge and yellow piece so it does resemble the giant poultry on Sesame Street.

Troublesome Room Mate - I happen to live with a guy who manages to LOSE EVERY FUCKING THING. Since he’s been living on my couch, he has lost 2 pairs of expensive glasses, $200.00, his weed and recently, another $500.00. It’s been ridiculous. He could possibly be the worst room mate to live with, ever. He never remembers to save his cash for rent (so we always have to pay late)  and constantly forgets the amount he’s supposed to pay even though it’s the same every god forsaken month. Currently, he’s got himself somewhat involved with a coworker who has a fiance in prison and is also dating another guy on the side. (Yeah, sounds like a reeeeeal cool girl, right?) By the way, when I say he’s “involved,” I mean that he’s stuck in the dreaded Friend Zone and has not been getting any poon from this girl. He’s completely fucking pussy-whipped by her already, despite the fact that she’s basically using him for his generosity with his weed and his overwhelming kindness. Did I say kindness? I meant retardation. This chick still owes him money that he let her borrow, two pay checks ago. Money that she could have paid him back by now since, you know, she has a fucking full-time job.
He’s one of those guys who claims to be all about “Bros before Hos” but when we straight up tell him what we think of the situation, he ignores our advice. He’ll be the fucking idiot getting majorly hurt in the end and we’ll be the dicks blasting a steaming hot, constant blast of “I told you so.”
Also, he is a huge Attention Whore. He’s constantly BAWWWWING about how “stressed out” he is when he doesn’t even know the fucking MEANING of that phrase. He isn’t the one (ie: me) constantly paranoid about losing his apartment because two people live there illegally and happen to have an illegal hobby. He bitches and moans about being broke but if he just knew how to manage his money, he would have plenty of cash to pay rent and then some. He could have paid off his old apartment and moved out by now. Instead, he loses it or blows it on random shit then ends up starving until his next paycheck. My boyfriend and I usually have more food and weed than him and I work significantly less hours. It’s ridiculous.

Unemployed Room Mates - My boyfriend is still job hunting like a motherfucker. We’ve been getting every Sunday paper to search the Classifieds, have signed up on every job site you can think of and have been picking up applications to any place we can think of. It’s crazy that nothing has turned positive after this long. It sucks when you’ve got years of experience and good work history and you still can’t find an available job. My other room mate doesn’t annoy me as much as the one described above. The only problem I have with him is that he’s a smart guy but never applies his common sense and advice to his own life. He’s the equivalent of a sex therapist who’s stuck in a horrible relationship. The good thing is that he’s not horrible to live with, he’s still cool as fuck and I never mind hanging out or smoking with him. He lost his relatively good job about a month or two ago because he was always late to work. The worst part about that was his managers didn’t even care that much about him being late at first, then it got worse and more frequent until they had enough and fired him. Damn it, dude!! XP
When he’s awake, he will ramble about how he wants to change his life, do this and that, move out of this town, blah blah blah… We’re used to these conversations because we’ve been hearing them for years. He has big big dreams but zero drive. He is a huuuuge dreamer though, I will give him that.

Dirty dishes – Plenty of this in our household. Why? Because pretty much every one I live with is a lazy fuck. I used to wash dishes for everyone as a courtesy since they were helping me out with rent when I was completely jobless. Now, I’ve told everyone that I’m not doing that shit anymore and they need to wash their own. That happens about… every other week.  I’m probably known as the official bitch of this apartment because I’m the only one who gives a shit about keeping a clean place. I don’t give two fucks anymore, though. I’m sick and tired of living in fucking filth. It was never like this before and I refuse to let it go to shit now. Leaving passive aggressive notes on the refrigerator has been doing wonders for keeping me optimistic on this front, though.

Latest and greatest video games - So, how amazing is Mass Effect 2, Bayonetta, Darksiders and COD: Modern Warfare 2?! Hrm, I wouldn’t know actually… Oh no wonder, I meant “Lack of latest and greatest video games.” This is easily the worst part of my financial crisis.

Manic depression - I hate to waste quality Internet space with my bitching and complaining but I need an outlet. It’s been terribly rough since I got rid of my horrible fucking job last May but I have been surprisingly optimistic. You can blame my partner in crime, Waylon, who I’m still happily in love with, even through these tough times. All I need is my daily dose of decent pot and my supportive and sexy beau. I’m continuing to keep my head up, regardless of the shit piling up. It’s reaching nose level now though and I know that when I won’t be able to breathe anymore, Hell will be raised and things will dramatically change. I can only feign a smile to every one for so long until I fucking break and go ape shit on my room mates or coworkers. Although until then, I will keep reminding myself that getting discouraged, frustrated or depressed isn’t going to improve anything. You can only get butt fucked so many times over that it eventually stops affecting you.

I do want to give a shout out to the few friends I’ve kept through this mess. Many thanks to everyone who has been supportive these past months. I love you guys more than you even know. Even if you have only given me two minutes of your time for me to bitch about my current situation, that has been way more than most people and I appreciate it immensely.