Masturbation Horror Story: Coca-Cola and Roast Beef

[NOTE: Masturbation Horror Stories is a featured series that  shows some ridiculous & insane methods of Self Love. You will hear stories of accidents that almost cost the masturbaters their lives. It’s fucked up. Cradle your genitals & cover your butt holes because these stories will make you cringe.]

Alright once again, I have a story for you, my kiddies. This is a tale of a young naive girl who didn’t understand a simple lesson and ended up with an object stuck inside of her ham wallet. Here’s her story…

I had a sex with a glass Coca-Cola bottle. It became stuck and wouldn’t come off and I realized it was because of vacuum pressure in that bottle caused it to seal inside my pussy. I had the ambulance come to drill a little hole on the pop bottle for it to let some air release and it came off. Never would fuck the damn bottle again. I love any toys beside something like this!!

True story, I read it on the Internet and they never lie there. What did we learn? Girls, never assume that things can’t get stuck inside of your lunchmeat. Next time you’re petting your moose knuckle, remember simple things that you should have learned in that year you dropped out of high school, more and more pressure filling up the gap inside you is not a good thing. Be smart and save up for a  real fucking sex toy.