I'm pretty sure this was the actual stapler.

“Alright,” he grinned and clasped his hands together, a wide grin that led me to believe he loved this part of the job interview. He whipped out a lowly gray stapler and said, “I bought this stapler from you but I’m bringing it back… Sell it back to me.”

“Holy shit, really?” (I’m pretty sure I said something along those lines) I’m no salesman and I don’t normally improv on a regular basis so I expected to fail the shit out of this challenge.

The plainest, most boring-looking stapler ever made and I had to clinch the deal.

Instinctly, the first question that popped to mind was “Well… Sir, did you make sure there was staples in the stapler?” I mean reeeeally, if you work with customers on a day-to-day basis, you’ve got to admit that there’s a good number of dumb people out there. The stupid, it hurts.

The interviewer looked amused and told me he double-checked to make sure that there was staples inside. Hmmm, these staplers must be pieces of shit.

Keeping in mind the fact that I was being interviewed to work for a credit card company, I figured I should dance around the products’ faults and try to highlight any key features. Tell the customer what they want to hear.

I just went for it.

I examined what I had to work with: a plain fucking stapler that I wouldn’t even want to own. Tell the interviewer what he wants to hear. In my head, I pretended that I was a Public Relations person for a stapler company that makes shoddy products.

“This [FORGETABLE COMPANY NAME] stapler has reinforced springs to make sure that your staples stay in place and don’t jam up. Blah blah blah blah blah…” Honestly, I don’t remember what I said, other than that line but I remember I talked my ass off. I basically bullshitted my way through the whole thing.

At long last, the interviewer, with a big smile on his face, extended his hand and said, “Well, it was definitely a pleasure interviewing you today.” I couldn’t tell if he was smiling so much because I made an ass out of myself or what.

“Yeah, I had fun,” was all I could think to say. Truthfully, it actually was.

I absolutely did not think I would get that position at all… But apparently, they saw something in me that they liked because I got the job.

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This morning I woke up to this.

Normally, when I unwillingly wake up early on my days off, I start the day in an irritated mood. This morning, however, I didn’t really mind because I knew Team Coco was still broadcasting for 24 hours straight and I was, admittedly, pretty excited to see what those Conan staffers were up to. I tuned in to see bears doing aerobics, followed by a sleep-deprived session of Intern Twister. Then, Aaron Bley introduced us to an amazing Mariachi Band to really wake everyone up.

It worked.

Yesterday, when I finally managed to peal my eyes off of my laptop during Punishment Bingo, I missed when George Lopez and Dog the Bounty Hunter showed up. I let an awkward first date, late-night zombie invasion, food eating contest, stand-up comedy and a lot more slip by me. Luckily, I’m not that broken up about not watching these moments live because, (if you’ll notice the links) they’re all on Team Coco’s Youtube channel.

I just finished watching the staffers improvise a puppet show that took place on Triumph the Insult Dog’s old theatre. (Sadly, Triumph didn’t make an appearance like a lot expected.) The two puppets were funny enough and answered ridiculous questions from the viewers.

Then the puppets informed us that they had a huge announcement.

The first guest on the show will be chosen by the viewers. Just head over to Team Coco’s poll and vote for who you want to see on the first episode of Conan’s return. The poll options include (Pedo the) Pope Ratzinger, Lady GaGa, Tom from Myspace, Justin Bieber, Jack Nicholson and a few others.

The puppets also gave us the scoop on Conan’s first week of guests. Jack White, Seth Rogen, Tom Hanks, Jack McBrayer, Soundgarden and John Hamm, Charlene Yi. Fistful of Mercy, Dahni Harrison, Michael Cera, Julie Bowen & John Door would also be guests in the premiere week. (I’m not going to lie, I may have forgotten one or two…)

The 24-hour shenanigans came to a close with a final dance party including a valiant return of everyone’s favorite Dancing Taco, a blind T-rex almost falling down the stairs and an epic dance-off.

So, yeah. That’s how I spent my morning.
…and it was great.

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Watch the hilarious people who write for THIS guy fart around all day? Sure!

After wake n’ baking and making my morning Internet rounds, I wandered over to Youtube to kill some time. I decided to check out the 24 hour broadcast of a typical day at Team Coco headquarters, which is a promotion for the premiere of Conan O’Brien’s new show on TBS.

I got lost in the hypnotic song that played while Conan’s hilarious writers attempted to put together a wolves puzzle. Even after they failed to complete it, I couldn’t look away.

I retweeted a brilliant idea…


…And carried on watching the writers tripping down stairs, tackling each other, reading excerpts from Francis Bacon and Conan the Barbarian and leaving the scent of silent farts. Not only was there a brief showing from Conan eating an apple, but Cigar Guy and sad Keanu Reeves even made an appearance.

Then as I was switching through tabs, I noticed something. Was I hallucinating or did I just see “@RiotMonster” with a “#3″ written underneath it? What the fuck?

Huh? Random people messaging me!

So, I wasn’t tripping! I really got a shout out! It was awesome and it made me not feel so guilty about the fact that I was spending my day off, spying on Team Coco’s headquarters. I watched the minutes turn to a few hours absorbed in Conans’ hilarious writers, entertaining us.

Managed to grab this screen cap because I'm a dork like that.

Entertaining? Damn straight! How are people managing to work with this on? Aside from the short intervals of empty stairwell/dead air, watching their crazy antics can get addicting.

The broadcast is still streaming and I recommend you check it out, if even for a bit. You’ll most likely catch something hilarious or weird.

Want to join in on the fun? Get on Twitter or Facebook and use the hashtag, #LiveCocoCam.  If you really want to have a blast today, join me and the rest of Twitter (who’s participating) and drink up! XD

Oooh, another Asian Guy sighting! Throw 'em back!

If you’re wondering how many drinks I’ve had, just know that I lost count after around five or six. You didn’t really expect someone who’s drinking during the day to keep count, did you?

So yeah, that’s the story about how the coolest thing that happened to me this morning came in the form of an Asian guy.

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